My Ghost
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2018 12:43 pm
My Ghost
You, my dear, know best, there are demons in my head. You, my love, have come to be one of them. Remember our games and late night conversations? Remember how we used to play with one another? I bet you forgot it all, that's what ghosts do. But it's forever encrypted on me, I guess that's what ghosts are for. That's what you are now, and that is what I always hoped I would become. A ghost. Ghosts know secrets and ghosts play with them. They haunt you forever. I bet, my ghost, you forgot it all, and oh, darling, I bet you know I didn't. How could I? There are still flashbacks of your smile tattooed on my brain and the sound of your voice whispering in my ear still calming my strongest storms. You, love, used to know all of my dreams. Oh, you were them. Me, smoking 20 cigarettes a day, you watching and laughing. ''Am I really the only one who knows you like this?'' you used to ask. '' You may consider yourself honored.'' was my constant answer. And back then, you were, and as sad as it is to admit, you still are, the only one who appreciated my darkness. You know, I used to hate you for how you made me feel. I still do. '' Stupid idiot.'' I used to call you. ''I love you, too.'', you'd answer. But did you? Love me too, I mean. Did you love me, too, darling? I'll never know. You are a ghost now. You, my dear, used to know all of my fears. You were them. ''Why won't you talk to me? Why are you acting like this? What have I ever done to you? Stop it.'' was your constant reaction every time I tried to get rid of you.
I knew from the beginning you'd break me. But, oh, darling, I never in a million years could have predicted it would've hurt that much. Fear. You know, you aren't my dream anymore, neither what I aspire to, I love now. I could never say that somebody else took your place. You, my darling, still have your place. You still are the ghost you have always been. But he, he is so much more than that. He knows about you. He knows what you did to me and what you made me feel. You aren't what I dream about anymore. But fear..that's what you still are. I still fear you'll come back. I still fear my past, because you aren't in it. You are it, love. I still remember how you used to tell me I'd never find anyone like you. Little did you know, that was never what I was looking for. In the end, you were the one that formed my personality. Let me thank you for that.
You, my ghost, made me stronger than I have ever been. And if I could ever go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for all of the smiles, the tears, the laughs I had and the timeless memories we made. I know, you're someone else now.
But love, you can't outrun it.
I still know your deepest secret.
I am it.
I knew from the beginning you'd break me. But, oh, darling, I never in a million years could have predicted it would've hurt that much. Fear. You know, you aren't my dream anymore, neither what I aspire to, I love now. I could never say that somebody else took your place. You, my darling, still have your place. You still are the ghost you have always been. But he, he is so much more than that. He knows about you. He knows what you did to me and what you made me feel. You aren't what I dream about anymore. But fear..that's what you still are. I still fear you'll come back. I still fear my past, because you aren't in it. You are it, love. I still remember how you used to tell me I'd never find anyone like you. Little did you know, that was never what I was looking for. In the end, you were the one that formed my personality. Let me thank you for that.
You, my ghost, made me stronger than I have ever been. And if I could ever go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for all of the smiles, the tears, the laughs I had and the timeless memories we made. I know, you're someone else now.
But love, you can't outrun it.
I still know your deepest secret.
I am it.
